An Open Letter to an Extrovert

The medicine I'm taking right now tastes like soap. Fifteen minutes straight of inhaling mist that takes like soap.

Dear Extrovert,

Hey! How are you doing? You see, I ask you that because I'm genuinely curious, not just because I'm polite and know how to banter. In fact, I really do like you a lot and think about you regularly. Sometimes, though, I think you misunderstand me.

You see, I'm an introvert. You know this well, and you accept me anyway - for the most part. However, I can't help but think that you have some sort of ulterior motive when you're talking to me. It's almost as if you're trying to convert me. Or cure me. I'm not sure which. As if I have some unspeakable disease that I'm suffering from, slowly dying from.

Allow me to let you in on a secret: I have no disease. There is nothing wrong with me. Frankly, I like how God made me. Introversion is not a disease - it's a piece of who I am.


I know that sometimes, since I'm quiet or reserved, I may appear to you as someone who thinks more highly of themselves than others. And granted, you're probably right part of the time - but only because I'm human and we all think that way from time to time. However, just because I'm quiet does not mean that I need to be "fixed." Just because I keep to myself does not mean I have a "problem."

It has also come to my attention that, since I'm a Christian, my faith and my personality type do not mesh. As a Christian, I know when I said I believe in the life and resurrection of Jesus and submitted my life to his Kingdom, I also said something to the effect of "I will be as loud and obnoxious as possible, showing myself off and partying like it's 1999." However, I must withdraw my words (which I seriously doubt I ever said).

Being a Christian is not synonymous with being an extrovert.

You see, I am a an introvert. And a Christian. And, whether you like it or not, God made me this way. It's who I am and who I will always be. I realize that I will never be loud and up front like you. And I'm quite glad for this, though I'm sure you believe that I'm distraught over my lack of supposed "leadership" ability.

Instead, I'll flounder in the background, doomed to a life of servitude and under-exposure. And I'm sure, in your mind's eye, you'll wonder why my gifts are going to waste, when they could surely be used to "lead" (see also: command, order, yell at) people closer to God. I'm sure you'll pray for me to change, and though I appreciate the concern, allow me to ask you for one thing: to stop.

I like who I am.

I like who God made me to be.

Please stop trying to fix that.

Sincerely,
An Introvert

Guess Who's Back?

Why, yes, the title of this blog post is an Eminem reference. Whether or not I like his music is up to you to decide...

Ah... It's been a week. A nice, long, refreshing week. Have you missed me? Because I've definitely missed you. I mean that it the non-creepiest way possible.

Over the last week, I managed to achieve oneness with God, devise a plan for world peace, and actually heard and understood every word my wife said to me. 

Just kidding.

My week wasn't nearly that productive. In fact, I, for the most part, sat around.

Sat. On my bum (which I hear is pretty much non-existent to begin with). Ate. Slept. Sat.

See what I'm saying? It wasn't exactly the greatest week of my life. But trust me when I say I needed the break. While breaking from blogging, I also took off from work, in hopes that the extra rest would help my body in the healing process that I hope it's in the middle of. I'm not hedging any bets on that, but it's worth a shot.

I did actually learn something this past week, though. Something pretty interesting. I read 3 books, so you would hope that I have something new going on in my noggin.

I learned that, apparently, (some) writers don't actually like to write.

And I breathed a deep sigh of relief.

I thought to myself, "Hey Self, you mean I'm not crazy when I get up in the morning and don't want to hammer out a new blog post? That doesn't mean I'm not actually a writer? I'm not alone?!"

Self did not reply, in case you were wondering.

You see, sometimes, I do like writing. But more often than not, I like having written even more (which is something else I learned is pretty typical of writers). I like it when the words are already there, neatly aligned, well-thought out, and somewhat coherent. I just don't like to do the work it takes to get there sometimes.

And apparently, that's okay.

Whew. Maybe I'm a writer after all. Or maybe not!

If not, I'm joining the circus.

(Maybe I should just stick to writing for now.)

What do you think? Is it unusual for writers to dislike writing? Or do you think that's normal? Do you consider yourself a writer? Why or why not? I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else!). Just drop me a comment or send me an e-mail!

A Brief Hiatus

Alright, fellow Bucketeers.

Don't weep. I promise I'll be back.

I'm taking a week off to rest. My body needs it. Badly.

In the famous words of Arnold Schwarzenegger...












I'll be back.

I Don't Want to Beg, But...

Farmer's Markets are probably the best invention ever. Reminds me so much of the markets in Sierra Leone.

Alright, fellow Bucketeers. I didn't want to do it, but...

I'm begging for your help!

(Yes, the title says I don't want to beg. Doesn't mean I won't do it!)

If you haven't noticed as of late, I haven't been feeling very well. I'm not really sure this is going to be remedied anytime in the very near future, and I only feel more tired each day. Quite frankly, it sucks. That's why I need your help.

Instead of shamelessly plugging blogs today, as I usually do, I would like to shamelessly plug Life Before the Bucket...

for guest posts!

I'll be honest. I could survive without them, but honestly, I want to feature other people's writing on here! There are about a million avenues you could take when writing a guest post here on Life Before the Bucket:

Write about a life goal you've recently accomplished.
Write about a goal you've failed at (I do this frequently).
Write about a goal you're in the process of achieving.
Write about something that has absolutely nothing to do with your goals (again, I do this frequently).
Write about a specific hero that you have - we all need a little inspiration.

Or just about anything else you can think of.

If you write it, I can make it work.

So here I am, on my virtual, interweb knees, pleading for your help.

Would you consider writing a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?

If you're willing, able, or whatever the case may be, just e-mail me at awaller1990@gmail.com. You can send me the potential post in whatever format you please, and I'll let you know what I think!

Thank you so much in advance. You have no clue how much this will help me out.

One Question

This sickness is kicking the crap outta me. If you're into praying, I'd appreciate any long/short/quick/impromptu prayers you could say for me. Thanks in advance!

Today, I'm not feeling my best. But I want to leave something for you here, because I love you and don't want you to think I've abandoned you. So today, I've got one simple question for you:

If money were no object, where would you be and what would you be doing right now?

My answer?

Hopefully I'd be in a hospital, getting my lungs fixed. I realize it's a process, but hey, if money is no object, then maybe things would get done a little quicker. Ya know?

Let me hear your thoughts and answers to this question! Would you do something crazy? Or would you be somewhere vacationing? Or helping out somewhere? No answer can be wrong! Leave a comment and let me hear about it or e-mail me!

Wonder

I'm sort of famous as of yesterday. Maybe I'll share why soon...

It's Friiiiiiiiiiiday!

I would sing that for you, but then I'd lose a lot of friends.

Friday means a lot to me:

First of all, it means a 3 hour day at my internship. And after getting used to 9 hour shifts, 3 hours feels like just enough time to get there, sit down, and leave.

Secondly, it means that the weekend is here and we get to see our families. Call me a homebody, but I love our fams.

But most importantly, it means I get to participate in... Five Minute Friday!

Here are the rules, via The Gypsy Mama, if you aren't familiar:

Rule I...Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing. None. Scary? Well... tough!

Rule II... Link back to The Gypsy Mama so others can participate!

Rule III... Leave some comment-love for the person who linked up before you on TGM's site!

Today's prompt...

Wonder

Ready... Set... Write!

I wonder about a lot of things in this world.

Why, for instance, we park in driveways and drive in parkways.

I also wonder what it would be like to live on the moon. Would I finally not be the only person who isn't underweight? And would there be such a thing as obesity?  

Really, though, I wonder about one thing in particular: why God hasn't healed me from my sickness.

Now, I'm not talking about some sort of metaphorical, spiritual sickness here. I have that, too, to be sure. In all seriousness, though, I wonder why God hasn't healed me from my lung disease.

Does he not care? Does he not feel my pain? Does he not understand?

Or was Jesus an asthmatic? Maybe he had Kartagener's! Or maybe I'm just kooky for thinking such a thing.

Someone recently asked me a very odd question: "Why do you think God hasn't healed you?" I wanted to answer by saying that I'm not God and I in no way want to speak on his behalf - I'm not nearly that cool. Instead, though, I gave it a little thought and came up with this:

Sure, I wonder why God hasn't healed me. I wonder if he ever will. But frankly, he doesn't need to. I pray that he'll heal me so I can work for him better. But truly, my God is bigger than that. He can use me in spite of me. He is SO big that he can use me with diseased lungs. He doesn't need my lungs to be well for me to serve him. He's that big.

And in light of that, I don't wonder as much anymore. Instead, I'm left in awe of how wondrous He is.

END.

What are some things that you wonder about? Do you find yourself pondering the same things on a daily basis? What sort of conclusions have you reached on those things? I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else!). Just leave me a comment or send me an e-mail!

Well, This is No Good

I figured out yesterday that I spend almost 10 hours a day hooked up to machines for my health. Insane!

As I opened my eyes this morning, I was a little tired.

I rolled over, checked out the time on my phone (6:30 AM, as always - with no alarm), and crawled out of bed.

I sort of half-walked, half-slept my way into the kitchen, ready to start another day. But not before I made myself a cup of coffee. Days don't actually start until that first sip, don't ya know?

I prepared the coffee as usual. Empty old grinds. Put in new ones. Insert into Keurig. Press a button and wait.

I left the kitchen, knowing full well that when I returned in a minute, I'd have a piping hot cup of coffee waiting to be consumed.

What I found, instead, almost ruined my morning...

an empty cup of coffee!


 
Now, being too tired to panic, I just sort of stared at the cup for a couple of minutes. I decided one of a few things could have happened.

Option A: An overzealous, coffee-loving elf drank all my coffee, but was nice enough to leave my cup.

Option B: All of the coffee in the world had been raptured because there was a shortage in Heaven.

Option C: My Keurig might have actually broken.

Now, granted, none of these options sounded very appealing. Unfortunately, I knew one of them had to be true.

I looked around for a little while, searching for evidence of an elf invasion. No coffee drips, glitter, or sugar sprinkled anywhere. Hmm...

Next, I went to searching for the rest of my coffee. And, lo and behold, it wasn't raptured. I found all of my coffee and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Why on earth would Jesus expect me to live without coffee?

Which brought me to the inevitable conclusion... My Keurig is having some issues.

Sad, sad day.

It had done this before, about 2 months ago, but then it started working like a charm again, so I didn't pay much attention. This time, though, it was just being a butt. It would pretend to work well, but when it was time for it to deliver the goods, it choked. Literally and figuratively.

Fortunately, I'm persistent and wrestled with the stupid machine for about half an hour, hitting it, begging it, pressing buttons, and praying. And it eventually gave me the cup of coffee I wanted.

Sadly, I think it's time to call the K-people and get a replacement. My faithful, ol' Keurig just couldn't handle the pressure.

Now what on earth am I supposed to do for coffee until the new one gets here?!

Another crisis for another day.

Do you have a Keurig (or something like it) at home? Have you ever had problems with it? Do you have any other electronics that you rely on that break down on you? How do you usually react? I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else)! Just leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail!